Take me home

Well, okay, my home might be heaven. If it had a butler, a private beach, and soccer 24/7 and always in HD.

Should sesame chicken be served up crispy or soft?

Well I guess Siri doesn't know, but maybe these restaurants do. A poll, perhaps? Majority vote?

You are so sexy

Apparently Siri is thinking of those Victoria's Secret window settings. Provocative!

Why is a dog's bark worse than its bite?

Well gosh darn it, I don't know, but Siri seems to think it has something to do with HIV/AIDS......

Um.. no.

Why did Kim Kardashian get divorced?

The all-knowing Siri declares it was because Kris didn't give her enough gifts. Therefore, she suggested a number of gift stores nearby!

Well, of course!

If you build it, he will come

Stock prices?? Stock prices?? I'm trying to tell you to build a ball field and get in touch with your long-lost father!

E.T. phone home

Wow. It got me. But still, dammit, I was hoping for some kind of intergalactic telephone number.

I love the smell of napalm in the morning

I'm trying out the AFI's top 100 movie quotes. Love Siri's interpretation of this!

Do you want to get under the covers?

So let me get this straight, Siri will direct you to adult shops and strip clubs, but is a prude herself? Hmmmm.....

And then I asked, "do you have any idea what you're talking about?". Same response, but the butcher job of my question gets me wondering whether she's really a prude after all, or just a tease....?

Tickle me Elmo

Not quite, but EMO doesn't seem to e having a good day....

What does upchuck mean?

My god, Siri has such a dirty mind...

Where can I buy an apple to eat?

Somehow I don't think apples are high in essential minerals. Or maybe they are....?

And take 2: "where can I get an apple?" failed just as equally!

Hasta la vista, baby

Somehow I don't think the Terminator was thinking of baby stores when he said this....

You complete me; I love you

How rare and awesome is it that Siri understood me two times in a row. And returned the love???

You had me at hello

Pretty close! And a seductive response....

When will Dan get his new iPhone?

I was smart enough to pre-order my 4S within hours of its release. My friend, not so much. So I wanted to see if Siri had any insights on the matter.....

But alas, she brushed me off...

I'm so sexy

Well I suppose shower sex is within the realm of what I actually said, but why search for adult stores? Couldn't I get a home depot or something?

I'll be back

Tried channeling my inner Schwarzenegger.

Ahem, no comment.

Where do diapers come from?

I was on daddy duty and this one came to mind. Based on my conversation with Siri, I guess one could speculate that diapers come from.... A dude... In Rio. Kind of ironic, no? Siri has one weird twisted sense of humor....

Where's the beef?

All I can say about this one is... Same ends, wildly different means. And, dare I ask the role of anesthetic in butcher shops?